Las Vegas, NV

So my last post about the runaway chlorine car was interesting but the so called ‘reaction’ by our city and national officials is just off the charts.

Oscar Goodman was very upset by the idea. Good. But his response to fix it?

In response, the mayor never wants to be blindsided by a runaway car again. He says he will amend a city ordinance so the railroad must notify authorities before chlorine or any toxic chemical will be shipped through the city.

Yes, if murderers called ahead to let you know they were coming over that would be dandy too. I think having notice to the city that HAZMAT containers are coming through should have been the standard already but would it have stopped anything that happened with this case? I think the answer is no.

Of course Harry Reid had to weigh in and completely miss the point as well:

“The incident involving a runaway railcar yesterday is just the latest example of the serious danger that Yucca Mountain poses to Nevada and the rest of the nation.”

Leave it to Harry to declare something completely unrelated to the incident to blame for the incident and further his own posturing and senate sound bite chest.

Railroad officials were investigating Wednesday how a runaway chlorine tank car rolled for 20 miles through Las Vegas before train crews stopped it.

Excuse me? A train car full of a chemical that could have killed thousands of Las Vegas residents just rolled its way on through the city today?

This isn’t like a semi jacknifing over median or even a plane crashing onto the strip. This thing could have all but destroyed Vegas not to mention totally ruined our economy.

Davis said there were no immediate indications of foul play in the mishap, which was reported just before 9 a.m. Wednesday.

I suppose they are defining foul play as the presence of hundreds of dead people. Glad we dodged this bullet but, seriously, can we maybe make a little more effort into keeping this from happening in the future?

But this headline just completely owned me this morning:

Mighty Thor, Sanford join forces in Las Vegas to face Aggies

Now, I know this is about UNLV football and I can dig that, but in my mind, Thor and Fred Sanford fighting cows sounds like the best sitcom plot… EVER.

Pronounced ‘ay-soos’, the company has been making computer components for a very long time. Now they are trying to compete with Apple and Sony to be a hip and ‘with it’ manufacturer of laptops and PC’s. Isn’t everybody these days?

In addition to showing off their pretty notebooks, Asus will sponsor six “Internet lunches” where guests will have free access to the Internet on Asus laptops so they can chow down, surf the web, and see just how fashionable those Asus laptops can be.

Because that’s what Vegas needs, more pretension. Look, I can dig a bit of a crossover between markets and genres. But this whole, “We’re a fashionable producer of urinal cakes,” trend has got to stop. Make your PC’s and don’t try to mark them up to me because they are also yellow. I stopped falling for that with Coldplay’s first album.

This story is so good I almost don’t believe it.

Normally, in Vegas, you get a story like this:

Las Vegas is going to get the world’s smallest Battlestar Galactic reenactment bridge. Only one person will be allowed in at one time and the tickets are going to be $85.00.

But the idea that we will be getting two full sized sports arenas? That’s just amazing. Maybe Oscar Goodman did something right for once!

According to the government’s civil injunction complaint, William S. Reed of Las Vegas, operated the now-defunct Asset Protection Group Inc.(APGI), which helped customers place sham liens on their property to deceive creditors, including the Internal Revenue Service (IRS).

So you want to scam the government? There is probably somebody in Vegas who can help. You want to defraud creditors? Vegas has you covered. Want to do it all poolside while you sip mojitos? There is probably a casino offering double points for fraudsters laying at their topless beach sipping mojitos while at the same time bilking the government. Trust me, there is a promotion for everything these days.

Vegas is the south side of hell when it comes to heat. From this particular article:

Last month was the hottest July on record for Las Vegas with an average temperature of 107 degrees Farenheit (41.5 degrees Celsius), to make matters worse only half of the normal level of rainfall was received.

However, they didn’t talk about the days where it was up around 120. Average temperatures are all people see when they come out here. Or, they look up the ‘official’ highs. Trust me, if you intend on visiting here in the summer, the highs will easily reach 120 and, if you intend on drunkenly staggering up and down the strip, you might want to consider only doing it at night.

That is all.

In Vegas, the casinos will do anything to get you in. But this story really tells me that there is a definite push to bring in locals and to create a consistent customer base.

The deals from the Silverton, in fact, are pretty good. Buy one, get one beers in a town where you can be charged - and I am really not joking here - by the ounce for it.

I’ve never been one for happy hours but the longer I live in Vegas the more I find your schedule shifts into a more sleepless territory. You find yourself getting by on five hours a night because the rest of your time is occupied.

Las Vegas has new Hydrogen fuel cell buses! The environment is saved!

Oh, wait, you mean there’s only two? For the whole city? And it doesn’t even begin to touch the hundreds of regular diesel buses? Or the hundreds of construction vehicles that run day and night here? Or the millions of cars that run the roads ragged twenty four hours a day?

“These buses represent part of Ford Motor Company’s strategy to deliver transportation solutions that emit less CO 2 and reduce our dependence on oil,” said Sue Cischke, Ford senior vice president. Sustainability, Environment and Safety Engineering. “We are pleased to partner with the city of Las Vegas to place these buses into service so that Las Vegas residents and all its visitors will be able to experience this unique form of clean transportation.”

So basically Oscar Goodman and Ford are making a drop in the bucket for a photo-op and publicity stunt. Awesome. I can feel the air getting fresher by the moment!

And for bonus points, Harry Reid secured the earmark that spread this cost to every person in America so that Las Vegas isn’t actually paying for this. Hurray!

The Osmonds are getting back together for a show. And, if all previous indications are correct, they will also be doing a tour if the show is successful. That’s my opinion and they haven’t stated that for the record, but come on, Donny’s only got so many more facelifts he can suffer before a slit appears in his forehead.

On the reunion show: “We make a great shepherd’s pie. … with a pretty garnish named Marie,” Jimmy Osmond said.

Why does this give me the creeps? I mean, ew.

And I don’t blame him in some ways.

Carlin doesn’t care. He expects it. He has been fired by more than one hotel in Las Vegas over the years. And, not just in the old days. According to Carlin, when the MGM tossed him a few years ago, after years of regular shows at the resort, the hotel executives claimed his act had become “too dark.” Carlin was amused. He himself notes: “My history in Vegas is checkered, mixed and scarred.”

The money quote for me, I think, is this:

“It is the most dispiriting, soul-deadening city on earth.”

I agree completely, but I think for George Carlin to say it is like Satan himself swearing off Vegas as, well, it’s too gosh darn hot!

Those Wacky Las Vegas Judges!

Seriously, since moving here I have heard more inane and almost unbelievable crap about Las Vegas judges than I have heard about any judiciary, anywhere, ever.

Take today’s fun for instance:

Jonathan MacArthur, a 34-year-old criminal defense attorney, listed among his interests beating prosecutors and used a graphic phrase that he said was common “among blacks, people who associate with blacks or in a sports context.”

I am not entirely sure what exactly that means, but this guy, who is a temp judge and works for the city, has a MySpace profile wherein he uses graphic phrases that are common ‘among blacks’.

They decided not to use MacArthur’s services any longer, March said.

“A judge’s job is to be unbiased in all matters, and on that MySpace page, it appears he definitely has a bias against prosecutors,” March said.

Yeah, those wacky judges and their bizarro biases. Just so you know, I plan to never get arrested and have to go before a judge in this town.

Not in the way you might think. Nevada is a definite swing state. In fact, it’s a hotly contested one. Plenty of political money gets spent here and, like most swing states, it’s less about your specific party affiliation than it is about your stance on specific issues.

Barrack Obama and John Edwards will be coming back to the state soon and having their little pushes for support. Oddly I haven’t heard of many Republicans making a stand here. I suppose they forgot that George W. Bush won Nevada, but just barely, in ‘04.

The other evening a friend and I were out looking for a place to find a fine cigar. We happened upon a local shop called the Tobacco Leaf, in Henderson. Their prices were reasonable and their lounge was comfy. It’s hard to find a good cigar shop in Vegas as the majority of ’smoke shops’ are nothing more than bongs and cigarettes but the Tobacco Leaf definitely fit the bill.

“When did we, the residents of this city, vote to turn it into a Pakistani version of Las Vegas?”

That quote comes from Sorin Ionita in Bucharest, Romania. Apparently you can somehow be tricked into turning your city into a place of waste, sin and cheap thrills.

Clearly no politician would ever do this all on their own, right? Right?

Las Vegas is a concept and soon it will be one of those ubiquitous verbs. Like Google.

Yeah, so, I was going to build an addition on my house for the new baby but I decided to Vegas it instead. I figure the baby will only need three of the four walls and he likes the bright hot sun right? Oh and the hooker- I mean nanny, will help out tremendously.